Mourning
by Katrin
Summary: Mourning for a dead child (after Phantom Companion)


Mourning  
  
Liam walked trough the corridors of the mother ship on his way to the chamber where the little taelon babies lay in stasis. He knew he was not allowed to go there but he simply could not forget them. They were so cute. And he was so sorry for them.  
  
And he had to admit it, he was sorry for all the other taelons alive, too. Had Da'an not told Renee about his children? They had to be in that chamber, too.  
  
Liam asked himself what Da'an might feel for his children. Did he feel anything at all? He knew that the taelons were known as emotionless amongst humanity but he also knew that wasn't true. They might have less intense emotion and control them better but they had some, he was sure of that.  
  
Finally Liam reached the chamber and entered slowly, but then stopped when he saw a taelon in his natural form kneeling at a wall, his back turned towards him. His first thought was to leave at once because he would surely get into trouble if he were seen here. But then he gave the taelon a second look and noticed that it was Da'an. When he approached he saw the taelon's shoulders moving and heard something that reminded him of sobs.  
  
Slowly he approached further until he stood next to Da'an, who had still not noticed him. The taelon's eyes were closed and one hand was pressed against the wall, against something that seemed to be an empty pod for a baby.  
  
Carefully Liam knelt down next to Da'an. The taelon had still not noticed his presence and he didn't want to frighten him. So he whispered "Da'an?"  
  
No reaction. So he called him again and slightly touched his arm.  
  
"Da'an?"  
  
Slowly Da'an opened his eyes and looked at Liam. At first he didn't react at all but then it seemed to reach his mind who was there in front of him. He jerked back and gasped, then regained his façade. Liam was surprised by the intense sadness he saw on his companion's face.  
  
"What… what are you doing here? This is no place for humans!"  
  
"I am sorry, Da'an. I just…"  
  
"Leave!"  
  
Liam saw that Da'an was really upset.  
  
"Alright Da'an, I will leave. I just want you to know that it was not my intention to harm anyone. I only wanted to see them again. I am sorry."  
  
Liam just wanted to stand up when Da'an made a gesture to stop him.  
  
"Why did you want to see them, Major? To enjoy the sight of our lifeless children? The sight of our future that will never be? Are you happy with what you see? Are you?"  
  
"No, I am not."  
  
"Then tell me why!"  
  
Liam hesitated a moment. Da'an seemed really angry, but also desperate. How could he explain his wish to see the children?  
  
"Da'an I… when I saw these children I felt so sorry for them. I wish they would get a chance to live. I just wanted to see them again. They are so cute, so… oh I don't know. I just wanted to see them again. When I saw the little baby dying in the arms of… Da'an?"  
  
Liam stopped talking when he saw Da'an's reaction as he mentioned the dead child. The taelon's façade flickered, he looked at the empty pod in the wall and then closed his eyes again.  
  
"Da'an?"  
  
When Da'an reopened his eyes and stabilised his façade Liam again noticed his sadness. If he would be human Liam would say that Da'an was on the edge of crying.  
  
"Da'an?" Liam whispered and touched the taelon's arm again. "Da'an, the child… it… it was… yours?"  
  
"Yes." The answer was so low that Liam could barely hear it.  
  
"Oh god, Da'an, I am sorry."  
  
Liam didn't know what to say. A few minutes ago he had asked himself if Da'an felt something for his children, well, now he had his answer.  
  
"Da'an, I am sorry that I disturbed you, it was not my intention. I will leave you at once."  
  
Liam stood up and walked away when the taelon's low voice made him stop.  
  
"Liam, wait."  
  
When he turned around again he saw Da'an standing up. The taelon obviously tried to get his emotions back under control.  
  
"Wait Liam, it is me who has to apologize. I should not have…"  
  
"What? Mourn for your child?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"But why?" Liam was curious.  
  
"We taelons do not mourn the death."  
  
"But you are mourning for your child, I know that! And you have all right to mourn! Do you really believe it is good when you always hide your feelings and bury them inside?"  
  
Da'an turned around and looked into the depth of the chamber.  
  
"If I won't do that I would go crazy."  
  
Liam didn't know what to say, so there was silence for a long time. Finally Da'an asked "Do you want to see my other children?"  
  
"Yes, yes I would like to see them."  
  
So Liam followed Da'an further into the chamber until he stopped in front of a pod. The taelon opened it to Liam's surprise and carefully took the baby in his arms.  
  
"This is my youngest child."  
  
"Da'an, it is… beautiful."  
  
Liam stared at the tiny, blue baby but did not dare to touch it.  
  
Suddenly Da'an laid the baby back and closed the pod. His face became bare of any emotion, it again became the usual face of the North American Companion.  
  
"No Liam, I can't let my emotions control me. I have to go on, whatever may happen. For them, for their small chance to live."  
  
With that Da'an turned around and left the chamber. Left behind was Liam, lost in thoughts. 


End file.
